If one parent ignores already agreed-upon rules, then serious discussions need to take place. But when one considers the stress and emotional turmoil divorce can bring about in a child, the need for structure is even more vital. Rules and routines are critical for raising children in any familial situation, divorced or otherwise. When They Ignore the Other Parent’s Rules So what are some trouble signs when co-parenting with a toxic ex? If these behaviors begin to creep into a c0-parenting relationship with an ex, it may be time to establish new boundaries. “There comes a time when one has to say, ‘Let’s leave each other alone’.” “When emotions are being used to diminish self-worth, distance needs to be established,” she says. When that happens, it may be time to recalibrate their relationship. And although, emotional responses are common and probably expected, there are times when the co-parenting with an ex becomes toxic and too much to handle. “Understanding this enables one to have compassion for their ex-spouse.”Ĭompassion is important. “The endless loop of bargaining leads one down a rabbit hole of regret and blame,” she notes. This emotional buildup, Cramer says, can very easily create to a poisonous stew of anxiety, guilt, and the need to undo what’s been done. “So many of one’s hopes and dreams are wrapped up in a marriage, and to have it end is to take away future possibilities.” “Anger and depression are natural byproducts of divorce,” says Nancy Cramer, a leadership consultant and the founder of Correct Course Consulting. Co-parenting with a toxic ex can be extremely difficult. But there are times where a healthy collaboration between co-parents isn’t possible because an ex wife or an ex husband doesn’t compromise, constantly belittles, or exhibits other such toxic behavior. In a perfect world, co-parents are able to work together, setting aside their differences and prioritizing the best interests of their kids above all else.
With respect, trust, and, yes, a good amount of time, that relationship can be extremely rewarding. Once the smoke has cleared from a divorce, former spouses have to go about the business of raising kids together.
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